Some different life

 

So, now I’ve been home with our daughter for one and a half week. I’m starting to get a hold of things. I’m starting to understand the work involved in entertaining a kid all day. I’m having a hard time thinking of easy and good food, but thanks to some of my readers I still have a few ideas that I can use.

One thing I’m realising is that no day is like the other. One day I’m getting all the signals right and I don’t have to change one used diaper. Other days I’m missing all of them. (She has been using the potty a long time, but for safe we use diapers too). Some days I can eat in peace with her enjoying her food at a comfortable pace without too much a mess, other days she just throws things around, leaving me cleaning the floor, table, three chairs (including hers), wall, windows and sofa. I always have to clean her, sometimes less, sometimes more, then I just put her into the shower.

It is amazing how she has become so much more attached to me. She now comes over to me and wants to be lifted up while I’m cooking even when Susanna is at home. That didn’t happen before. I’m getting stronger in my left arm; it’s kind of tricky to cook with only the right arm free, but doing it with the left is even trickier. I do have to put her down for some task and she does somehow understand it too, but as soon as I’m done with the thing that made me put her down in the first place she’s back between my legs almost trying to climb up.

I thought the hardest thing would be not meeting people all day. And I think it is. I’m trying to get out every day, some days for some shopping, others for some activity (we have her swimming once a week now), or just to go to the playground or to the open preschool. Later, when Susanna is working full time I will come and visit her at work too.

Sleep is a bit of a problem still. I can get her to sleep, but it requires a long walk or bicycle tour. I have to time it right and have to be on the move for at least half an hour. Then she maybe sleeps for one hour, but if I stop it’s not sure that she continues to sleep. Twice she did sleep a while after I got home, but every other time she woke up.

This last weekend was beautiful, so we had a little walk around our house:

Beautiful weekend

As I was writing Susanna was looking at some toy-car-thingy: http://www.swingcar.se/ (She didn’t look at that page I’m sure of, because I couldn’t fine the film she was looking at there. It had a song as soundtrack; see film below; which made me remember a walk I made midsummer 2004. I made a walk in my neighbourhood that night, thinking of how my life was. Back then I was just doing the last parts of my master-thesis. This was a period in my life when I had lost myself. I felt like I wanted to run from everything. I was thinking I should move to a new place and start over. I just knew I wouldn’t get rid of the feeling anyway. It felt hopeless. Still I had many things I was really happy about. I had a few good friends and I really looked forward to visit my brother later that summer.

 

Here are a few pictures from that walk:

Midsummer walk 2004

After looking at those pictures I started looking at other old pictures. O have I changed. I showed some of them to Susanna, I think she is really happy I have changed. I’m happy too. I found myself again. Now I have a happy family and the feeling of wanting to run from it all just doesn’t come anymore. I live so much more right here, right now. I think that’s the only way of living taking care of a child.

Some more music reference there if you want:

Taking it easy

Today was a good day.

A day with a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

All day with my lovely family.

Now the day is coming to an end.

The TV is on, great music is coming out of the loudspeakers. (Yes the music is coming from the TV show, Summerburst makes it possible).

I’m warm. (Not thanks to the weather).

Ellinor showed her finest side.

Susanna doesn’t mind the music too much.

Had a good nap on my parent’s sofa.

Nice talk with my aunt and uncle.

Enjoyed easy food, good food, bad (not to the taste) food, fun food.

Not thinking about getting things in order. (None of us did).

It all started already yesterday.

All three of us being laidback: The three of us all laidback That’s just how we are…

Music

Today as I came home Susanna and Ellinor went for a walk, leaving me to make dinner. It was time for chicken.

As I stood in the kitchen I realised that I hadn’t listened to music in a long time. Not in a real way, just putting on something I like and turning it up. Now with the family on a walk I decided to do so.

I put “Mind the gap” by Scooter on and played it as loud as one can in a house with apartments. (Sorry neighbours if it was a bit too loud). How liberating it is to dance together dinner instead of just cooking it.

Just before Susanna came home the CD (yes I listen to CDs still) came to an end and I put on “Dream wide awake” by Omnimotion, something more appropriate for dinner. (And something Susanna doesn’t mind listening to as we not entirely share the same taste in music).

Sitting there at the dinner table with Ellinor and Susanna made me just realise how much I miss music. There have been times in my life when I listened to music almost all the time. Then there have been times when the music has been silenced. Lately it has been very little of listening to music.

At work I have moved out into the open office. Sitting there I have not had the possibility to listen to music, especially when I’m not super busy, not to miss out on opportunities to hear conversations where I might find something extra to do or just the fact that I look really busy with headphones on making it harder for other people to ask me for help. So not much music there.

At home Susanna doesn’t listen to much music and neither do I. Most of the times I want to listen to music that she doesn’t really like. I can listen to her music, but it’s not really my favourite.

In this moment of realisation I felt so much joy. Music does that to me. Articulates feelings. The joy of having such a good life.

  • Susanna as my wife, I couldn’t find a better one!
  • Ellinor my daughter, she is just so adorable. (And really good at eating her roasted oat flour porridge with mashed fruit).
  • The beautiful place we live in.
  • Great dinner (if I may say so myself).
  • A good beer. (Old Spreckled Hen one of my absolute favourites)

And many more things that just make my life great.

It is in moments like these that music is just right.

 

Just one more thing:

Don’t forget to vote for your favourite Stockholm 2011 building: Here is the link

Just do it!