Category Archives: Life

This is my life, just simple entries with thoughts and observations

I started running again

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Somehow I have gained a few kilos this spring and summer. So I have to do something about it. Since I really like good food and snacks I have to tackle it the other way, by getting more exercise.

So I started running again. I write this today as it already is the second time I’m doing it. (I ran on Monday too).

I don’t know how many times I have started running and it has stayed at one time. Just this spring I started last time, that time it lasted only one time, then I got a cold. Last autumn just after my daughter was born I started running too and a few times before that. Now I don’t want to start running again until spring 2013.

Last autumn I even got new shoes. My old ones had been my running shoes for a few years and didn’t feel that good while running anymore. And they squeak. Now they are degraded to bicycling and summer out in the nature shoes, there the squeak doesn’t bother me as much.

I have started out with just a short run, basically running around Södra Ängby, a 4 km course mostly on asphalt. When I feel it is getting a bit short I will extend it a bit.

If I want to run in the forest, I don’t now due to high concentration of mosquitos; there are good possibilities for that too with the Grimsta and Judarn nature reserve just around the corner.

Last time I did regular running (more than just once every half year) I lost about 10 kg, I don’t know how much it will be this time and I won’t know any time soon either, this is something that takes time.

Okay, I might have to stretch some more now…

Someone wants to walk

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My daughter has a new thing going on. She wants to walk. Bumping is just not good enough anymore. (Bumping is explained in the post of How to not feel rejected).

We realized yesterday that she was a bit grumpy. Didn’t really know why at first. She didn’t need to go to the potty, (yes she does most of her business there), she didn’t want to get a snack from Susanna and she didn’t want to play with some toys she shouldn’t like cables.

As soon as Susanna or I held out my hands, she grabbed them, pulled herself up and started walking. Before she just would have bumped to her spot, but not yesterday. It was walking day!

After a while she did let go of our fingers, only to lose balance and we had to catch her to not hit her head or worse.

Just a few days ago walking with her was an easy thing, I could steer her the way I wanted. Yesterday she started complaining when I steered away for a room she shouldn’t enter. She then very decisive led us to the little pool we have had put up in the garden. She wanted to bathe.

She really practises standing. First holds both hands, then one, then just something else, like my leg or a table, then nothing, plumps. Stretch out arms to someone to get pulled up again.

I don’t know how I feel about it. I know she will learn to walk eventually, but she really doesn’t have to start so early. (Sure there are kids that start earlier). With her walking around, climbing will evidently come soon too. More things have to be child-proofed. More than one pair of shoes has to be bought. Cables protected. Flowers moved. (She likes digging in flowerpots). And she will be even faster from one room to the other. With bumping I can look away for a few seconds and I still have a chance to find her again.

Here is a picture of my daughter walking with Susanna and one of her walking with me

Susanna and Johannes walk with Ellinor

There are some things that will be better as soon as she walks by herself.

Our backs will be lest bent. If she holds my pinkie fingers I can walk with an almost strait back, but normally she grabs some other fingers first and it’s a bit hard to change fingers while she is holding on like it was for life.

We won’t have to follow her everywhere. We do have places where she can go by herself. It is comfortable to just sit down in one place and let her explore without one having to walk with her all the time. Bumping had the same pro, maybe even better due to the slower speed.

So let the betting begin: When will she walk by herself for the first time? I’ll buy the winner a beer. (Winner is the one guessing the date closest to the actual day here in the comment field. In case of a draw I’ll have to buy two (or more) beers. Susanna and I will be the undisputable judges of this contest).

How to not feel rejected

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My daughter is just a few days short of 10 months old. She isn’t speaking in a way that is understandable except for us if we pay attention and it still is mostly just guessing. She doesn’t walk by herself. She just today sat up from lying without help, twice actually. (We’ve been dreading that day, because now we can’t just put her down and she stays within a short distance of that place, but can get up and bump around all over).

Bumping is her second preferred way to get around, sitting on her but and wiggling getting around at astonishing speeds. Her first preferred way to get around is to grab some ones fingers, preferably Susanna’s or mine, stand up and start walking.

Anyway: She really shows that it is mom that is important. She doesn’t even have to be hungry. If she is in the wrong mood she just isn’t okay with Susanna leaving. I won’t do. Nothing can (to my desperate tries so far) change that.

Like this morning when Susanna went and took a shower. She immediately bumped towards the door, starting to whine when she arrived there. When that didn’t help, I wasn’t really that awake at that point, she got a bit louder. This had the effect that I took her up. Did that help? No. So I tried to play with her. No, that wasn’t okay either. Big tears went down her cheeks. Tears on my daughter’s cheeks just are a bit tough. So I take it to the next level and give her some of her toys. Nope, that didn’t help either, she just pushed them away. I gave them back to her, she threw them away. I haven’t seen her do it that fierce before. Like she was angry. I think she was. Angry that I didn’t take her to mom. That was my task! Okay, I picked her up again, sang a bit and rocked her gently. Sometimes that helps. Not so this time. I continued doing it, she cried louder. I gave her Susanna’s phone (one of her favourite toys that she can’t play with except when nothing else helps). She threw it on the floor so hard I was afraid it broke. (It didn’t). So I gave myself a little relief and put her down in the crib. Big mistake, she started to scream at the top of her lungs. Susanna must have heard that in the shower. I picked her up again. It went on like this for a little while longer, until; we both heard the sound of a lock and door being opened. She still was crying. Susanna opened the door to our room and Ellinor really tried to wiggle her way out of my arms with her arms stretched out to Susanna. Susanna could not take her over fast enough. As soon Susanna had her she calmed down, still sobbing a bit looking at me with some kind of “why didn’t you get me to mom sooner?” view.

This took about 10 minutes. Ten horrible minutes. Not every time is as bad as this, but she time after time shows me that I’m just not good enough. I pick her up; she turns to mom and tries to escape. I hold her just short while Susanna has to fix something and she starts whining. I stay at the table with her trying to feed her and she is turning her head away. All these things just make one feel less appreciated. Sometimes she just doesn’t let me do anything, not even change the diapers.

Then it’s important to remember the other times:

Like when I come home from work. When I get in the door and say hi, I hear Susanna’s voice somewhere in the apartment; “Did you hear who came now, papa is home.” Then she has the biggest smile on her face when she sees me. If she’s on the floor she starts bumping to me at top speed.

Or when we are together as an entire family. Sitting and having a cosy time on the sofa or in the bed. She just smiles and says “papapapapa” or “mamamapa” or something else that is really cute.

Or when I play with her, taking her for walks, letting her ride my shoulders. She really shows that she loves it when I do things with her sometimes.

Once in a while she just wants me to feed her too. Not accepting food from a spoon as long as Susanna holds it, but only when I give it to her.

Sometimes we just sit in the sofa and have a good time.

She loves me. I know that for sure. She just loves Susanna more. And that is just natural. Susanna is there much more of her time. I disappear to work. She gives the food and comfort she needs to calm down in the evening. This is nothing for me to get jealous of. I know I’m important to her too. She knows it too, I’m sure of it. Thinking of all that, especially when in moments like the ones in the first part of this entry, help me to not feel rejected.

Even when I am rejected by her, I know it’s not personal; it’s just there is someone that is more important to her. That is good. Susanna has to be more important right now. Later that can change. It doesn’t have to, I’m okay with being number 2, later I might even become number 3 or less, who knows. As long as I am the best father I can, in my eyes I’m good enough for her and she is always my lovely daughter.

Taking it easy

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Today was a good day.

A day with a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

All day with my lovely family.

Now the day is coming to an end.

The TV is on, great music is coming out of the loudspeakers. (Yes the music is coming from the TV show, Summerburst makes it possible).

I’m warm. (Not thanks to the weather).

Ellinor showed her finest side.

Susanna doesn’t mind the music too much.

Had a good nap on my parent’s sofa.

Nice talk with my aunt and uncle.

Enjoyed easy food, good food, bad (not to the taste) food, fun food.

Not thinking about getting things in order. (None of us did).

It all started already yesterday.

All three of us being laidback: The three of us all laidback That’s just how we are…

Ellinor’s first bike-ride

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Today was a special day. On Thursday, Susanna bought Ellinor a bicycle-helmet. Today we tried it out.

This afternoon we installed the seat in the bike-trailer. Now we can go for bike-rides all three of us. This will be great, so much better than to walk and take the bus or subway.

Afterward we had a little short test; we took a short trip of a few hundred meters to try it out. Ellinor seemed to be okay with it. I just have to be more careful crossing speed-bumps and curbs. Her head with the helmet on wiggled a bit much.

Here a picture of us when we got back in.

So many things have happened the last month. Ellinor eats more and more of the same food we eat. Sure we have to chop it up, but some things she eats whole. I don’t really know what her favourite is, but she really likes potatoes and tomatoes.

Her technique to move around has been perfected. Now she can get around the entire flat. We really have to be watchful, just looking away a short moment and she’s in boxes or pulling cables. Luckily her technique of moving around has the pro that a standing chair is a barrier she can’t get past, but for how long? We have started to remove things from floor-level; some things remain to be removed still. We don’t want to take all things away; she has to learn that some things just are not to play with and some things we just can’t remove; the electric outlets, luckily they are protected so that small fingers can’t get hurt. We don’t want her to learn that it’s okay though, one day she might get to an outlet that isn’t protected and we don’t want an accident then.

A short film of Ellinor eating tomatoes:

[embedit snippet=”ellinor-eating-tomatoes-2012-06-09″]

When I get home from work, if she is on the floor, she looks around the corner in the cutest way, leans forward to check, not having to take two or three more hops to the front.

Music

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Today as I came home Susanna and Ellinor went for a walk, leaving me to make dinner. It was time for chicken.

As I stood in the kitchen I realised that I hadn’t listened to music in a long time. Not in a real way, just putting on something I like and turning it up. Now with the family on a walk I decided to do so.

I put “Mind the gap” by Scooter on and played it as loud as one can in a house with apartments. (Sorry neighbours if it was a bit too loud). How liberating it is to dance together dinner instead of just cooking it.

Just before Susanna came home the CD (yes I listen to CDs still) came to an end and I put on “Dream wide awake” by Omnimotion, something more appropriate for dinner. (And something Susanna doesn’t mind listening to as we not entirely share the same taste in music).

Sitting there at the dinner table with Ellinor and Susanna made me just realise how much I miss music. There have been times in my life when I listened to music almost all the time. Then there have been times when the music has been silenced. Lately it has been very little of listening to music.

At work I have moved out into the open office. Sitting there I have not had the possibility to listen to music, especially when I’m not super busy, not to miss out on opportunities to hear conversations where I might find something extra to do or just the fact that I look really busy with headphones on making it harder for other people to ask me for help. So not much music there.

At home Susanna doesn’t listen to much music and neither do I. Most of the times I want to listen to music that she doesn’t really like. I can listen to her music, but it’s not really my favourite.

In this moment of realisation I felt so much joy. Music does that to me. Articulates feelings. The joy of having such a good life.

  • Susanna as my wife, I couldn’t find a better one!
  • Ellinor my daughter, she is just so adorable. (And really good at eating her roasted oat flour porridge with mashed fruit).
  • The beautiful place we live in.
  • Great dinner (if I may say so myself).
  • A good beer. (Old Spreckled Hen one of my absolute favourites)

And many more things that just make my life great.

It is in moments like these that music is just right.

 

Just one more thing:

Don’t forget to vote for your favourite Stockholm 2011 building: Here is the link

Just do it!

Half a year

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Today Ellinor has her half year birthday.

This is something.

I haven’t kept you updated on my family life for a long time now. I have not really been in the mood to write most of the time and when I was I didn’t have the time. Now I have both mood and time.

So many things have happened already. She is more and more becoming a personality. Some things make her frustrated. Other things make her happy. And she really loves it when we sing.

Here comes a short little film I made yesterday and today:

[embedit snippet=”%c2%bd-year-old-ellinor”]

A film of Ellinor

It is just wonderful to see her learn new things almost every day. Just a few weeks ago she learned how to sit without support. She does tumble over every now and then still, with a complementary cry after hitting her head on the floor. Sitting with her is plenty of fun and we can play together with her toys.

Ellinor and I sitting on the floor.

She has also begun to move around. So far it’s only backwards, something she is very frustrated about. When we build her tower that she likes to tear down and she tries to get closer but it just get further and further away.

Ellinor on the floor, soon to crawl all over the place.

New Year, New Beginning

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Happy New Year!

This time last year I didn’t even know I was becoming a father. Didn’t know how living with a kid would be like.

Susanna and I were thinking that it would be nice to have a kid during the year, not knowing that she already was growing in her.

Not in our wildest fantasy could we have expected a more wonderful kid than Ellinor. She is just so cute, letting us sleep at night and giving us an easy time.

A few highlights of the year:

  • The positive test on Susanna’s pregnancy.
  • The first ultrasound of Ellinor. (Link to blog entry)
  • The visit in Germany because of Ulrike’s confirmation.
  • Easter in Skåne.
  • Ellinor’s birth on the 10 of September. (Link to blog entry)
  • Friends weddings; Leigh and Andreas, Suppe and Jordana and Mattias and Amy said yes to each other.
  • Christmas in Skåne with Susanna’s family.

I will remember 2011 as a great year. Only one big change accrued, but this change was probably as big as change can be.

What will 2012 bring? Hopefully a kid that starts to walk, maybe even say a word or two. I will go on father-leave from work in September. That will give me much more time with Ellinor. I don’t hope for too many other things to be done then, but that is just not the focus of being off work then. During my father-leave Susanna will be working.

Maybe a trip or two should be possible too, nothing really far away though.

In March I will be part of a team from work skiing the “StafettVasan” a relay cross-country ski race in the track of the in Sweden famous ski-race “Vasaloppet”.

I don’t have that many other plans for the year. Maybe I will try to be more aware of injustice and lose a kilo or ten.

My year will be great! May yours be great as well!

Three months

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Yesterday Ellinor turned three months old. Not bad, she is growing and we have managed to stay sane.

One good reason for that is this:

She is just the cutest when she sleeps and she does that during the nights up to about 10 or 11 in the morning with only one break for food.

Last Thursday she got her first vaccine shots. Not my favourite activity. I took the afternoon off to be able to be there as support. That was necessary. Ellinor did not like the shots and got really angry with Susanna, who held her while the nurse gave the shots.

I totally understand the anger, the needle was super thick and it must have hurt badly. Then I could help calming her. As soon as she got into the elevator on the way out she fell asleep though. She slept well for a few hours, but then she was whining and not really eating well the rest of the evening.

She didn’t get any real reactions to the vaccine though, and already on Friday she was acting almost normal.

We are so happy to have a daughter that gives us joy and doesn’t make our lives too difficult.

Ellinor is blessed!

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Last Sunday we had a special day for our little girl. She was blessed at church. We do this to dedicate her to God. It was a wonderful ceremony.

We were especially happy for all the friends and family who came to join us. It is so great to share moments like these with them.

The meeting in itself was a typical “New Life meeting”, with the translation and the “fika” in the middle. (Fika is a Swedish word that for a short coup of tea or coffee and some small ting to eat (like a cake) with friends). Stewart was leading the meeting in his usual humorous way. Katti was leading the worship (the songs we sing). That was really good. Both Susanna and I really like it when she is leading. Kjell was preaching with his typical orderly way. (I somehow wasn’t paying too much attention).


Caroline (the children’s pastor) was in charge of the blessing. First she said a few things. I prayed for Ellinor and then Caroline blessed her. After that the congregation came up to us and prayed for us as a family.

Us on stage

Here a picture of us on stage.

One a little more non-typical event was the collection of money, due to the fact that the church made it a special collection to get the last money to buy the new building. If you are wondering, yes we got the money to buy it, now we just need the money to adapt it to our needs, but there we have a little more time. The big move will probably be in the end of February.

Back to Ellinor’s day:

After the meeting we had invited a few friends to our place. It was a great joy to have them all over.

Thank you who came! We were really happy for you and Ellinor is so happy for her gifts (at least Susanna and I are, Ellinor is still not entirely getting the concept of gifts). It was a great evening.

And all of you who couldn’t make it, we were happy anyway, we can’t be at everything we are invited to either. Actually when we invited you we thought more wouldn’t come due to the short notice.

All of you we didn’t invite, we are really sorry, but there is just not enough space at our place to have all of our friends over at once. Just give us a call and we find some time to meet (probably just not this year).

One other great thing with the weekend was that Susanna’s parents and brother were here. It’s so nice to see grandparents taking care of Ellinor.

More than two months

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Last week Ellinor had her two months birthday.

This weekend my in laws and brother in law are here. It is nice to have the home full with happy people.

Friday when I got home from work, a bit earlier than usual due to more work on other days, I was struck with fatigue like coming back from a week of hard labour.

I haven’t changed jobs; I haven’t had super exhausting things going on at work. So that shouldn’t be the problem.

I have slept okay, something between seven and eight hours every night, just like I always have.

I haven’t helped more with home chores than before. Making dinner some evenings, but not even close to every. Taking care of laundry a bit or cleaning a bit, nothing out of the usual.

So why am I so dead tired?

I just have to look at the differences: I just can’t dough down in the sofa when I get home. There are diapers to change, a daughter to entertain or a wife to give some extra time too. Not big things in my mind.

Obviously my body thinks different.

I have to get into better shape to cope with it. Or get more rest. Or just learn how to deal with the fatigue.

Friday morning I went to the gym, like I do most Fridays. That’s a refreshing thing to do and since we have breakfast at work on Fridays it’s the perfect day.

I have a hard time to eat somewhat fast in the mornings, if it’s not white bread with sweet spread on it. If you didn’t know it, white bread with sweet spread isn’t exactly the healthiest thing to eat. So I eat oat porridge at home on weekdays. (Weekends I’m too much of a sweet breakfast kind of guy, so that just happens).

So I do things to keep in shape. Main thing is bicycling to work. I have the intention to go running once a week, right now it’s more like once a year. And I do some cross-country skiing, but that’s on hold until the snow comes, who knows when that is?

Okay, enough with the rambling!

I’m so happy I have Ellinor and Susanna in my life. Being more exhausted on Fridays is worth it all and a bit.

Every day a new first

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I’ve been much less tired. Haven’t had as much time here, but that’s a small price to pay for the privilege to not be tired.

I think I’m actually in a very good place. Ellinor sleeps between five and seven hours every night in one go and after a good feed a few more hours. That is a true blessing.

There are new things happening every day. Most of them are small. But the other day, (a week ago or something like that) she turned over, from belly to back. That’s early. Susanna didn’t really believe it first, so I turned her over again. And after a few gruffs she did it again. I realised I need the camera. So I got my phone and started filming. Now it wasn’t fun anymore, only gruffs, but no turn.

On Thursday there was a not as nice kind of first. Ellinor had a rash in the morning. Susanna asked me to look at it and it was kind of small, so I didn’t think it was anything.

In the evening, during the marathon-feed evenings are, she had the rash again, but this time it was much bigger. We called the medical advice and they said it would be good to go to the hospital to have it checked.

Yippy! Going to the hospital late at night just when I wanted to sleep isn’t something I really like. Even less so not knowing how long we would be there. But if it is for the best of Ellinor it’s just no question.

Arriving there the nice nurse at the reception checked her and said we should wait for a doctor to look at her. She already warned us that it may take some time. And time it took. About three hours later we were called. (We then found out that there was one more Ellinor at the hospital, since the other kid’s mother also got up, there were at that time only two kids in the waiting area we were in, but there is one other waiting area too).

The doctor did some checks, and then asked if it itches. “How to know?” was our reply. “She has been really calm this night”. She did some more checks and looked something up and then she said that there isn’t much to do. If it doesn’t annoy her it is best not to treat, the medicine treating rashes isn’t good for so little ones. So we could go home.

Puh! It’s always nice to hear it’s not bad, seeing her sick was painful. (Being dead tired didn’t make it easier).

Friday was a bit hard, but a red bull in the afternoon and too much cake and sweets during the day made me go through it without collapsing on my desk and even accomplishing something.

Now Susanna’s cousin is here for the weekend. That is nice. That also gave me the possibility to make my filled aubergines, it’s not that often I make this my favourite vegetarian dish; normally I’m just too much of a carnivore.

Now it’s time to get some sleep, tomorrow we’ll take an easy day.

I have to change some things

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Last week I worked full time for the first time since Ellinor was born.
When Friday came I was so tired I didn’t even get that extra boos my trip to the gym normally gives me in the morning. When I finally came home, I almost fell asleep standing.
That’s just not okay. I have to try to do something about it.
Now you think: “But Johannes, you are a parent of an infant now, get used to it!”
“Why?”
There are things I can do to actually improve my sleep, without neglecting the family. (Actually I think not being awake while awake is even worse than sleeping a bit more).
I have to start getting to bed in time. Shouldn’t be that hard, lat in the evening Ellinor is feeding, I could then go to bed. Last week I somehow waited to her going to bed too, leaving me with just under seven hours of sleep, with a short break when it was time for the night-feed.
This week I’ll be trying to get to bed earlier.
Just hope I don’t get stuck here.

She is growing

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Today I was back to work fulltime. The day went fast, I think because of a fun task, (making a map) and an afternoon meeting.

I picked up the last part of the bike-trailer on the way home, so now it is fully functional, except the fact that Ellinor still is a bit too small to use it. We’ll have to wait to try it out on her until spring, now it will only be used for shopping or other transporting tasks.

Ellinor is growing! That is always exciting. She still doesn’t like to sleep when we want, but I guess that will stay until she has moved out of the house, sure it will be easier in a while and some nights it already is.

We realised that there are plenty of pictures of me with Ellinor. Like this one:

Ellinor and I

But not many with Susanna, so we made one with her too:

Ellinor and Susanna

They are just lovely!

This was just a short little update; more comes as more thoughts show up.

A happy day coming up and some other things

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Today I’ve been back to work for two weeks. Time flies.

Tomorrow is a big day. Not because Ellinor is becoming four weeks old, but because two good friends are getting married.

This will be a challenge, we still have not gotten into all the routines we want, nor do we get all the sleep we need. I think it will work. We just hope she is in agood mood and won’t be too scared by all the people.

Back to my good friends: Jordana and Suppe:
Sad to say I’ve been a bit too busy to spend time with them lately. Anyhow, I’m convinced that they are a perfect match.

Suppe with his cool and calm ways, rubbing some of that off on Jordana. Jordana with her temperament and social skills that just lift Suppe. I know Jordana, how she sees things in people that no one else sees. I remember when she said that Suppe would be a great guy, but that he was a bit young. Good she changed her mind on that. I remember when Suppe first helped out with the sound, really getting it all together. Now when he leads worship it shows he has tried that too, knowing how to make the life of a sound technician easy. And he has a great voice too.

I’m just so happy that they are getting one tomorrow.

And now to some total unrelated stuff:
I managed to rip off the wire to the gears of my bicycle on Wednesday, after only 3300km. I thought my new bike would be better, but somehow it ripped off anyway. Luckily it wasn’t too difficult to change. Actually it was easier than on the old bike. (There I had to change it every 1000 km or so). I bought it on the way home.

Soon I have to get a new winter tire too. The back one had worn out this spring. It’s just safer to bike with spikes when there is snow and ice.
We still aren’t sleeping nearly as much as we need, but I have the feeling it’s getting better. I get enough to get by, but I don’t know how Susanna makes it. Today I was surprised by them being out walking, I met them out at the big road while biking home.



Just one more picture of Ellinor

So far so good!

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So far sogood! That is how it feels now.

Ellinor keeps us awake during the nights, but not more than we can handle. Some nights I get plenty of sleep, others Susanna gets a bit more.

We are getting into a good trot. Even if there still are some things that have to become more regular. I don’t know how to get there. But with some trial and error we will get there.

She is not the big screamer. Sure, once every now and then she cries so that one wonder show she gets all the air into her lounges to make it that loud. Other times she has some kind of coughing cry. During the first days she had a strong vibrationon her lower lip, that is almost gone now. When she cries it almost sounds like she is saying “nej” the Swedish word for no.

I most like the moments when I can carry her around. That is the highlight of the day. When she looks up to me, it’s like nothing else matters any more. This is not something she does all the time, most of the time she is sleeping while being carried in the sling, but the moments are precious in a very special way. (And Susanna gets sleep, gets to eat or does anything else she can’t do with Ellinor on her lap).

Just two more pictures of her:

 

On the sheepskin
One very special expression on her face

Back to work

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Yesterday Iwas back at work for the first time. Two weeks have already gone since I became a father.

It’s amazing how fast time flies. It feels like it was just yesterday we came back home from the hospital. Sure we have accomplished many things. But still, many things are so brand new that I’m not used to them yet.

Two things I have noticed:
  1. Susanna is an even more amazing woman than I ever could imagine. She takes care and nurses Ellinor all the time, sitting with her for hours at a time, total patient. She sleeps less than half of what I sleep and I don’t really sleep enough. She has basically given up all of her own things, even if I try to give her some time to do things she just wants to do. (That’s tricky, she has to sleep too).

  2. I can take care of Ellinor. I thought I would have problems changing diapers, calming her down when she is crying or even carrying her. I can do all those things. I even like doing them. (Maybe that’s the biggest surprise).

Still we are not at routine yet. There are many things that will have to work better for us to manage in the long run.

  • We have to learn how to get the sleep we need.
  • We have to get more regular food times. (Not for Ellinor, but for us, she eats whenever she wants).
  • We have to learn to get out and walk every day. Susanna needs the exercise, (I bike to work), and Ellinor the fresh air.
  • We have to get our place in order, so that we easily can keep it clean.
I am so looking forward to everything that is to come. Last night Rob came by with his son Benjamin, he’s 11 months. Seeing a kid that is just a bit less than a year older than ours give a glimpse of what is to come.

Just one more thanks to all of you congratulating us and you helping us I various ways!

2011-09-10 05:05

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2011-09-10 05:05 is a very special point in time. This is the exact time when Ellinor decided to show her beautiful face and I became a father. The road up to this point was mere preparations. From now on it’s serious. I have a baby daughter.


I will never forget the long day and night that led up to this.

When she finally came it was total joy! I was over tired but that didn’t matter at all. First time I held her I just knew this is great.


Now a few days in, I’m more and more amazed about how she is and how much one can learn from a baby.
So she was born early Saturday morning, a few hours in we were transferred to a family room at the hospital where we could stay until the breastfeeding started and some checks were made. This was good. We had to feed her with a cup every 3 hours due to Susanna’s diabetes. That was hard. Both on us and on her, we all wanted to sleep.


On the Sunday we tried to start the breastfeeding, but that didn’t really work out in the beginning. First on Monday did we get help so that we felt that things start towork out and Ellinor did get the food she so badly wanted.


Tuesday morning we were released, actually it was more like lunch, but by now our daily schedule had become somewhat strange. We were happy to finally get home. Starting to organise our place to the new circumstances. We had left in kind ofa hurry, since we thought that she would come a few days later.

In the evening my parents came over. They brought pizza! They are really happy to have agranddaughter. Ask them and they will brag more than I do.


Back tonow:

Some nights we sleep. Some we try to get Ellinor to sleep. I’m amazed how Susanna is coping with only feeding and sleeping. But I think just sitting with Ellinor in her lap is such a great thing.


Yesterday I tried the baby sling for the first time. She really liked it. I could walk aroundwith her for a few hours (between two feeding-occasions) and she was calm and seemed happy. Then I tried it again this morning, when she didn’t really want to rest. The best thing is that she is so close; it feels much closer than when she is in my arms or on my lap. And if she starts to get unrestful I just walk around a bit and she is calm again.


Learning to understand her signs is tricky. I thought that I had learned how she acts when she is hungry, but realised that it also could mean that she wanted closeness.


I’m so happy I can be home these first days, there are so many things that have to come in place and this way I can help out in all the ways that are necessary.


Thanks to all of you that congratulated us, on facebook, via mail and phone. We really appreciate it even if we haven’t had the time to thank you all personally.


Exiting times

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Exiting times

It’s about time I let you in on my thoughts again.

Somehow time flies. It feels like it was yesterday I wrote a blog last time, but as Ilook here it was more than four months ago. (If the announcement of thepictures of last year doesn’t count).

Many things happen in four months.

Some things stay the same.

Life is great!

We have fixed our home to be more accommodating to a kid.

We’ve enjoyed a vacation without leaving the country.

Now it’s less than three weeks to the calculated due day. That is soon. Still it feels like it’s far away.
In a way itis. Not because of the fact that 18 days is that long, but because of all the change that the little one will bring. All the things I really can’t prepare for. I’ve tried to prepare all I can. I even got the number to Försäkringskassan (that is the government agency that gives out parental money)so that I don’t have to look it up when the day comes.

It also feels like so soon.

In the beginning of October some good friends are getting married, we had to tell them we come with a kid. That’s just a little more than a month from now.

Susanna is at home now, giving me a warm welcome when I get back from work. She is good at that. (She is good at hugging too). I feel so lazy when I get home. I should change that. But I guess that will come naturally; there will just be so much to do.

She will be home for a year. After that it will be my turn.

I’m also happy for my friends. Especially for the ones that also are fathers, they have given me much input and advice. I’m looking forward to put it to use.

I don’t know if I ever will feel like a good father, I just will try to do my best. Even if I feel like a disaster I’ll try again. One thing I know: I will be proud. I’m proud already, even if the kid isn’t born yet. When I listen to its hart-beat trough Susanna’s belly. When I feel its kicks.

Okay, this is it, this time. I doubt it will be four month to the next update. I think you all want one when the kid is born. (I might write some more before that but don’t count on it).

The joy of becoming a father

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Yesterday we had our first ultrasound. You know the kind of examination where one can see into a belly to see the child.
Somehow it’s sinking in now.
I’m becoming a father.
I am a father.
Am I ready to become a father?
It’samazing. Things are changing already, but there will be more, I’m well aware of that.
I can’t imagine how things will be. I think they will be great. I think we’ll be tired and stressed. I think we won’t know what to do with our joy. I think we won’t know what to do with our worries.
All I can see now is that since so many others have managed and brought up decent people, will do too.
Up until now it’s been unreal. I have seen the changes of Susanna. I’ve seen her belly grow. But still.
Now it’s much more real. I saw the pictures. I saw it move. Saw it react when the belly was poked. There is a little life in there. My child! Our child!
Now what?
Preparations will go on. We kind of started even before we were married signing up for this apartment we live in. Still there are so many more things to prepare
Susanna isa real planer. I’m more of a doer, without planning. Not that smart I guess when it comes to a kid. Now I have to listen to her smart and really precautions plans, while I’m dreaming of a wall painted with figures by me inthe child’s room. While I think of what kind of bike trailer would be the best.I’m so glad I have her in this.
What next?
Here a picture of the child.

Some fine day it is!

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Once in a while I get myself together and write some thing. This is one of them times.
As you might know, I got married to the most beautiful woman there is.
This is our wedding picture.
 
Today is one of them nice days, sun is shining and it’s not too cold. So we went for a walk. Coming down to the lake we realized that it would be so nice to walk on the ice. And it was. We walked from our place to our future place just to enjoy the sun and the nice weather. It is so great to not have too much to do all the time anymore.


Here are some of the pictures from the walk.
 
The day is really nice!

 

The new house, it’s the smaller one in front

Susanna on a bench just suited for one

The house, now it’s almost done


 

This is the side where we’ll live; it’s the middle floor

 

In the first house people are moving in now.

 

On the way back home.